January 14

I'm incredibly tired right now and all day; I was on the verge of unconsciousness in all my classes. I am also sick. Today in English we talked about what "the horror" means - they were Kurtz's last words before he dies in Heart of Darkness. Basically, these are the three worst possible horrors:

1) Civilization is an illusion. Humans are "mindless apes" capable of regressing.
2) Goodness is only a fear of getting caught.
3) There is no God... and anyone can be one.

Pretty frightening if you ask me. Central District rehearsal was boring, and I noticed everyone's shoes. I made friends with a girl sitting on my right side, and the girl sitting on my left was crazy. I first noticed this when I heard her muttering to herself about how cold pizza is preferable to a lethal injection, but just barely. Later she accused the band director of communist plots. Stella just climbed into my lap, and there is literally not enough space for her. 

On the highway on the way home I sat by myself and listened to Radiohead. "Exit Music" is the song of the day because it is CRAZY!! I got the full affect of it to because it was really loud and drowned out all the background noise and I was looking out the dirty window of the bus and watching depressing buildings whiz by. Today's picture of the day symbolizes how boring January 14, 2009 was. If I ever take a picture of something that is two feet away from the computer, you know I am lacking creativity and inspiration.

I am so God-damned tired.

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