January 31

I blogged every day for a month! Hooray! This deserves a celebration. Tonight was kind of really bad but it wasn't so until about ten o'clock. Before that it was fine. My last madrigal was pretty enjoyable. Susie fell off her chair and hit her music stand, which held all her music and her flute, on the way down, and it was quite loud and disruptive and hilarious. Other things she hit during her tumble include a luna bar (no peanut butter), a cup of water, and a chair. Cara Harvey said she looked like a "fish out of water," which I thought was a pretty accurate analogy. Even though I've gone every year, madrigal reminds me of being a freshman. It was a really poetic year. The song of the day is "The Bends" by Radiohead because it's been in my head all day, even though I didn't listen to it at all.

January 30

This is a fairly uninteresting picture of the day. The spoons are laid out like that because Michela was bewildered and fascinated by how many of the exact same wooden spoon we have in my kitchen. Of course they're not all identical, only the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh one from the far right are. And one of those was burned on the side so it's kind of black. I am really hungry right now. 

My history midterm was horrific as expected, but the fact that I was expecting it made it much easier to deal with. Tonight I went to the mall and bought a winter carnival dress at Banana Republic for only eighteen dollars. Will someone please remind me why I am going to winter carnival? Michela wanted to get some kid's vitamins because the regular ones make her sick, and we went into both vitamin stores in the mall looking for the right kind (who knew there were two vitamin stores in the mall). The second one was better because a middle aged man worked there who knew a lot about vitamins and he gave Michela some good advice. His hair was frosted and he was wearing a navy blue tie that said "Vitamin World!" all over it. This kind of stuff makes me sad. I have a three day weekend and I am glad for it. The song of the day is "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel. 

Today I discovered that my true calling is to be an amazing singer, but then the dream was shattered minutes after being formulated when Emily said, "but you're not good enough!" My sister is actually nice though. And I'm not giving up on my shattered dream!

January 29

I am in a really good mood today, despite having to look forward to a test tomorrow for which I may be more ill-prepared than any other test I have ever taken. That's probably not true. I think the my Topics midterm last year takes that cake. I am currently reading about the Byzantine empire, but I don't think it will do any good. I hope I can guess the right answers instead of the wrong ones. My cat is snoring! I just found my lens cap!

The song of the day is "The Horses" by Rickie Lee Jones. I don't know if liking Rickie Lee Jones is considered a guilty pleasure or not. I don't really know anything about her, except that her CD "Flying Cowboys" has been playing routinely in my house since I was about seven, or maybe before. I have to go read my orange World History book now!

January 28

SORRY I didn't put up the picture of the day yesterday and just put it up now. It wasn't my fault, it was Blogspot's for not loading it! At least I actually took that picture on January 27. This is not the last time I won't put a picture up on the day I take it... I have to go camping at SOME point. Today was a snow day and Emily finished drawing a picture of my face that she started yesterday night. It's pretty decent; I think most people would be able to tell it is me. She spilled some tea on it and she screamed, but the tea evaporated and left behind no clearly visible stains. So my face is okay, for now. I was supposed to study today for midterms but I didn't really do all that much. This is partially because two out of my four midterms are all or mostly AP practice tests that can't be studied for. This may or not be just an excuse. 

Last night I dreamt that I was in a rich suburban neighborhood that had no roads, just cleanly mowed grass. And I was with Jeff Greene (?) and we were frantically trying to get to everyone's house and tell them that they had to stay inside their house, and not go outside, or they would die. Because there was this scary guy wearing a Scream mask, actually I think it was Scream, and he was going from house to house and killing everyone who was in their front yard. He wasn't even scary-looking at all. He just looked like a guy who had bought a Scream mask from iParty and was walking around really slowly. But that was my dream. I took a shower today that was way too hot and it made me dizzy. Once the water is a certain temperature though, you can't make it colder because then you just miss the hot. 

The song of the day is "The Blues are Still Blue" by Belle and Sebastian because I played it in the kitchen and started dancing really weird. I wanted Emily to dance with me but she just took pictures instead and they are really embarrassing. My mom made blueberry-lemon-cornmeal muffins. They taste good, but are those three things supposed to be combined into one muffin? I guess you have to include that recipe when you're writing a book called "500 Muffins." 

January 27

Today I talked to someone with two first names. Right now Stella has very big pupils, which my mom thinks means she is having a stroke. My mom is kind of morbid about Stella, and I ate a whole bag of craisins today. The picture of the day isn't loading so you will see it tomorrow when I have a snow day. It is of cupcakes.

The song of the day is "Kurt Vonnegut" by Born Ruffians. 

January 26

I have a Tegan and Sara song stuck in my head, but it's not the song of the day! "Intervention" by the Arcade Fire is. Today I drove around with Liz trying to find a copy of "Apocalypse Now." We finally found it at Best Buy after wasting an hour, and then we didn't even watch it because we didn't have time. It came in a little cardboard case shaped like a package and it had a red seal that I accidentally ripped a little when we were driving home. I like Worcester best in the winter because its dirty, ugly appearance isn't trying to be concealed by nice weather. Tonight I wanted some apple juice but there were literally no clean glasses except for the olds ones in the pantry that are all dusty, so I drank out of a little glass bowl, two inches in height. I felt like a cat. This is the grill on the deck, all frozen. 

I left my comforters in the basement from the other night so instead of going downstairs to get them, I am sleeping under an unzipped sleeping bag and a fleece blanket that I accidentally stole from Farmland. It has green fake silk around the edges and it's covered in pictures of cowboys. Being away from Farmland gives me the false impression that I liked it and that I miss working there. My hands are starting to be less dry, thanks to some moisturizer I found at the dermatologist's office.

January 25

Stella is sick today! I think she had too much insulin and she couldn't move her legs and was twitching and wouldn't eat her food. It was really scary and sad. But she is okay now. I read Heart of Darkness out loud to myself because when there is noise and distractions, it is incredibly hard to concentrate on Heart of Darkness. I just pretended someone else was reading to me. Also I ordered a Belle and Sebastian poster on the internet that was 4 British pounds which is something like six or seven dollars. This fire was incredibly hot. When I was taking the picture, my face felt like it was getting a sunburn. I was wondering how hot my lens would have to be before it melted (don't worry, it didn't melt). 

No muffins today, but my sister made cinnamon buns. Also, as a result of sleeping on the futon in the basement, my neck was stiff and I couldn't turn my head to the left. It reminded me of the only other time that happened - I was in eighth grade and I was going to the Quabbin Valley concert and playing my flute put my head at exactly the angle that was most painful. I really like question marks. ???????????

The song of the day is "She's a Jar" by Wilco.

January 24

A nightmare can only be so bad, at least for me, because I always have some sort of subconscious anticipation of its end: for reality. However, upon occasion, relief doesn't come when I wake up, but the nightmare seeps into reality until there is no sleep left and I have a sort of sickening realization that I have no control over when it ends. This happened during the ice storm. It happened last night. And today I developed a weird twitch where whenever I thought of certain thoughts and I needed to avoid, I muttered stop stop stop under my breath. Just every once in a while. And I only ate a bowl of soup and six craisins. I was a crazy person today.

Also my mom was talking to me about fear. She said I was the most fearless child when I was younger. But that's not even true. And the more I thought about it, the more fears kept popping into my head. I compiled a list here:

Childhood Fears

1. Grown-ups
2. Teachers
3. Talking in front of strangers
4. Boys
5. Older kids
6. Horses
7. Forgetting my homework
8. My mom
9. Being yelled at
10. Throw up
11. Quitting Horseback Riding
12. My cat when she was hungry (not kidding)

Anyways, I did a lot of thinking about fear today, and nightmares, and how generally gross humans are. But it wasn't an entirely bad day. I enjoyed the JOMPathon more than I ever have. One girl sang and played the guitar, and her voice was so nice I actually cried a little. My mom and Emily, sitting next to me, cried also, and it was really funny that all of us were sitting together and crying. So that made me feel happy, also somebody's smile, and when Emily and I looked at pictures of ourselves back before the days of eyebrow-waxing and laughed really hard, and stories about Bea (if you're reading this Bea, I love you), and a picture of a cat. The song of the day is "Let Down" by Radiohead. It's really hard to describe this song, but I will say that sometimes when I sing along to it I feel like I'm not being respectful to the song unless I am crying, or feeling some intensely powerful emotion. And I felt really disillusioned today, and a little let down. So that's why it's the song of the day.

January 23

I guess today is self-portrait day. I wore that orange hat for like five minutes because it matched with my new "Come on Feel the Illinoise" shirt that came in the mail. I really like ordering things online because I usually forget about them by the time they come in the mail, and then it's like an unexpected present! I thought it was wet when I got it out of the mailbox, but it was really just cold. Friday seems longer than any other weekday, and I don't know why. Today I went out to dinner with Liz, Abby, and Abi to celebrate our last night of freedom before a week and a half of midterm torture. I don't want to get into that right now. Our waitress' name was Nora but I kept wanting to call her Noëlle. She asked Abi if she wanted to ship her leftovers to China. Speaking of cats, Abby and Abi both brought me late cat-related Christmas presents. Now I have a book of cat facts, a cat calender, and a cat picture frame, among other things. They were excellent. I am officially a 70 year-old widow. 

Tomorrow I have to go to my "new job" which is in fact, not a job at all, but my mom giving me money in exchange for my services in making Microsoft Publisher brochures. She is really excited about this arrangement. I think it is really troublesome to her that I spend so much time idle these days. But it's not my fault that I NEVER HAVE HOMEWORK. The song of the day is "King of Carrot Flowers Part 1" by Neutral Milk Hotel. I love that song.

I think I am a devout Bokononist now. So is Liz. Today Mr. Tarmey said "The cradle can't hold a cat! or a baby! or truth!"

January 22

Winter is dead. The song of the day today is "Green Gloves" by the National because this morning  I was looking for my left glove and I said "where is my green glove" and then the song was stuck in my head all day. I'm glad it's sunny. In anatomy I asked how lab students kill the frogs they have to examine and learned that there are three ways but the only one worth mentioning is the third. It's called "pithing" and it's when you stick a needle into the vertebral column and up into the brain and swish it around in there until the frog is dead. Learning this information made me sick with pity but then Abby said "Imagine looking in its eyes while you're doing that" and in some twisted, horrific, morbid way it was very funny and I laughed for quite a while. 

At lunch, Jen bought Twizzlers and gave me half of them.

I feel weird writing in this in the middle of the day, because so much could happen later. Last night I had an incredibly vivid dream during which I was standing alone in a public bathroom screaming profanity at the top of my lungs. I remember exactly what I was screaming, and if you ask me I'll tell you. Also sometime in the middle of the night Emily yelled "AH!" from down the hall while she was sleeping. I haven't told her this  yet, but maybe she already knows. I can't wait for my three-day week to be over. 

January 21

Today my mom made what she calls "muffin mishaps." As much as I like to defend her muffins, these were not good. They were each two inches tall and flat. And not very sweet. And they were chocolate brown even though they were strawberry muffins. This is a picture of Stella before I played "Put the Cat Under the Blanket and See How Long it Takes Her to Get Out." It took Stella two hours, which was an abnormally long time for her. I think she was sleeping.

In study hall we had to go see Mrs. Knowles to talk about Freshman Mentoring. She made us do this activity called "Cave Rescue" in which, based on the profiles of six high school students, including their age, gender, race, and academic tendency, we had to place them in order of who deserved to survive the most. It was really depressing I hated it and refused to participate. I wore yellow pants today.

Since "Heartless" by Kanye West is in my head, that's the song of the day. Emily is kind of sick. She thought she had a fever so she took tylenol and then my mom was mad because "MEDICINE ISN'T HARMLESS, EMILY!" This is like the fifth ailment Emily has had in two weeks (one of these ailments was carpal tunnel).

January 20

Today Barack Obama was inaugurated and my dad wore a "1.20.09." pin on the middle of his sweater. Also I skipped school. This is a picture of Brenna wearing her Obama shirt and holding up an Obama cupcake she made. Brenna's dogs make really weird singing-noises when people coming over. They are very surreal noises, I'm not kidding you. From what I understand, a lot of people skipped school today, which I thought was pretty exciting (righteous indignation!). I practiced my flute and watched this really dumb TV show, and then I decided to put up a picture of the day even though it's only four because I'm not gonna get a better one today. In honor of the occasion, my mom set out three bowls on the living room table: each respectively filled with red m&m's, blueberries, and pistachios (red white and blue (kind of)). 

I'm home alone and "Summer in the City" by Regina Spektor is the song of the day because I am practicing singing it. I wish I had a great singing voice. One time I sang in front of people on a beach in the dark. Tonight I have a flute lesson which means I get to drive around and listen to music and go to Barnes and Noble! Hooray! 

New President.

January 19 - Martin Luther King Day

I just thought of another reason I want to go to college. I am bored. I think my principal emotion of senior year has been boredom. Or some other kind of related numbness. This is a picture of my front yard today. I need to start taking better winter-pictures, if you know what I mean. This is such an intense winter that it needs to be documented.

I'm skipping school tomorrow to go to a doctor's appointment and then to watch the inauguration. The only part of school I'm going to is last period french, to watch the remaining three minutes of "The Vanishing." I'm pretty sure the main character is going to be murdered. I just don't see another way to end the movie. The song of today is "Say Yes" by Elliot Smith. Two of my fingers are cold right now and I'm bored.

Today I had nothing to do and too much thinking time. Not so good.

January 18

It snowed for most of the day today. It was snowing very hard when I woke up and I couldn't remember another time this year when this happened, although I'm sure there was, but it was still nice. From my window I can see the snow and the smoke from the chimney. It is a very inviting scene to which to wake up. This picture is of a hedgehog in Michela's house. It is probably from Nigeria or something. I went over there to have "spaghetti and small talk." It was fun, but the talk wasn't really small talk, it was real talk, and we didn't have spaghetti. We had short tubes of pasta. I don't know what they're called.

When I drove home from Princeton the snowfall was very heavy. I quickly learned that high beams make it more difficult to see through snow, so I drove through the majority of Princeton's narrow, unlit, and windy roads sufficiently blind and at a speed of 20 mph (this was the first time I have ever driven in this weather). The car skidded often. I parked in the neighbor's driveway because I was scared to drive down my own. When I walked the short distance from my parking space to my house, I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful everything looked. Snow is really very cool. I wanted to take a picture but I knew I couldn't even come close to doing it justice. So you get this hedgehog instead. Oh yeah when I took this picture Abi Wilson said "I used to have a pet hedgehog. Actually it was a porcupine." It took us a while to convince her that no one, pardon perhaps Henry David Thoreau, has ever been able to keep a porcupine as a pet.

The song of the day is "Joy" by Against Me! even though it doesn't really fit the theme of snow. The picture doesn't either. This song reminds me of Andrew because he once said it was one of his top five favorite songs ever written. We always argued about one line in it that he thought was "And the tigers in their cages roar at a memory of flight." I think it says fight and not flight because that's what it sounds like, and also, wouldn't tigers be more likely to fight than fly? Either way, it's a pretty good line.

January 17

Today was a fun day. I didn't end up having to spend the whole day at Mechanics Hall because I wasn't actually needed between the hours of 11:45 and 5:30, so my parents came and picked me up for lunch and then I just went home for a while. I tried to sleep while I was at home because I was so tired that my eyelids were dropping while I was standing, but I couldn't fall asleep and just had a bunch of weird stage-one dreams that were totally controllable and thus completely unenjoyable. I drank some juice for energy. When I got to Mechanics Hall I saw Liz walking down a corridor as I entered. She came this time! I was really happy to see her. She had to sneak in without a ticket because she paid twenty dollars for parking for some reason and paying an extra fifteen dollars just to hear me play four songs would have been wholly regrettable. Then I made a friend whose name was Paul, but I didn't know his name was Paul until the encounter was pretty much over, and I wished I knew before so I could have told him that Paul is my favorite male name ever. Seriously. There is a significant Paul in my future. I am probably going to marry him, if I ever get married. And if I marry someone whose name is Dan or Kevin or something else other than Paul, my life will probably be just the same except for I will periodically wonder if I would be happier if my husband's name was Paul. 

As you can see, it's eleven thirty and not nine, which was when I promised I would go to bed yesterday. I did watch Arrested Development though. It's "Hil-air!" as Steve would say. I don't feel like dancing much lately. The song of the day is "Save it for Later" by the English Beat because it came on the radio today and I love when songs that I would otherwise listen to on my own come on the radio. It's a relatively rare occurrence. 

Oh I almost forgot to talk about the picture. That is a muffin, but definitely the most misshapen muffin I have ever seen, much less eaten. Misshapen things get to be picture of the day.

January 16

This photo captures that I washed my hands in the bathroom. I want to start taking pictures of things that tell what happened in my day. Tomorrow I am bringing my camera to Mechanics Hall. I think this is my most tired week of senior year. That doesn't even make sense. I mean I'm more sleep deprived this week than I have been since junior year. But on the bright side, I am completely done applying to college (yearlong burden number one gone). Besides upcoming exams, I really have no long term projects or obligations. I feel very unburdened and free. It is a nice feeling. 

The song of the day is "Get Big" by Okkervil River. I used to really dislike that band, and I don't know why because now I enjoy them a lot. Sometimes bands that I label "growers" actually take like a year or more to grow on me. This post is lackluster because I am so tired. Tomorrow, after I spend eight hours at Mechanics Hall, I am going to watch Arrested Development and go to bed at nine :D

My mom made muffins that smell lemony

January 15

I think this picture is pretty 

"Sweet."

I took it while I was waiting for Emily to get out of dance. She dances in a really depressing building. It's nice and clean and well-lighted inside, but it looks like an abandoned warehouse from the exterior. Do you ever notice how the uglier buildings make for more well-composed photographs? We went to Panera after this and saw Liz. 

Today was boring. Again. I finished applying to college, and I guess it's sort of a relief, although I never really felt too burdened by the process (maybe I should have). Also I ate two muffins today. They were both blueberry, but one was made by my mom and one was made in a factory by a corporation who then sends the products to Wachusett. Speaking of Wachusett, the price of orange juice is 75 cents now! Rip off. The song of the day is "River Euphrates" by the Pixies.

According to rumor, the high temperature for tomorrow is zero degrees fahrenheit. 

January 14

I'm incredibly tired right now and all day; I was on the verge of unconsciousness in all my classes. I am also sick. Today in English we talked about what "the horror" means - they were Kurtz's last words before he dies in Heart of Darkness. Basically, these are the three worst possible horrors:

1) Civilization is an illusion. Humans are "mindless apes" capable of regressing.

2) Goodness is only a fear of getting caught.

3) There is no God... and anyone can be one.

Pretty frightening if you ask me. Central District rehearsal was boring, and I noticed everyone's shoes. I made friends with a girl sitting on my right side, and the girl sitting on my left was crazy. I first noticed this when I heard her muttering to herself about how cold pizza is preferable to a lethal injection, but just barely. Later she accused the band director of communist plots. Stella just climbed into my lap, and there is literally not enough space for her. 

On the highway on the way home I sat by myself and listened to Radiohead. "Exit Music" is the song of the day because it is CRAZY!! I got the full affect of it to because it was really loud and drowned out all the background noise and I was looking out the dirty window of the bus and watching depressing buildings whiz by. Today's picture of the day symbolizes how boring January 14, 2009 was. If I ever take a picture of something that is two feet away from the computer, you know I am lacking creativity and inspiration.

I am so God-damned tired.

January 13

This is the first picture of Stella on this blog, which means I didn't take a photo of Stella for... thirteen days?!? What the hell! What this picture doesn't capture is that after it was taken, Stella ate the end of that green stem. Weird. 

Today was kind of awful for a while. I fought with three different people. Random people. Like Ms. Jensen. And whenever I fight with my mom, it feels so much worse than it actually is: like it won't ever be better. In reality, it's usually better by the following afternoon. This time is no exception. She gave me twenty dollars to go to Staples after flute and buy bubble envelopes for sending my arts supplement and recording to colleges. It took me a really long time to decide between different brands, colors, sizes, and quantities of bubble envelopes. I don't know why it had to be so complicated. Then I went to the grocery store and bought gel and gum. I never buy gum for myself. When I got home she asked me for the change. I told her there was only three dollars change, but she still wanted it. One of the dollars I gave her was mine but I didn't tell her I bought the gum so I gave it to her. I've had that dollar in my wallet for months, just to have it there. Now there is no money in my wallet. For some reason, taking that dollar out was physically painful.

Tomorrow I will go to the first Central District rehearsal. I've never been to one but I feel like I know exactly what to expect. I will be bored and uncomfortable. And I will notice the shoes of everyone around me, and then judge them based on their shoes. I won't be able to help it.

Oh yeah, I don't know what the song of the day is. Any suggestions?

January 12

This is a little bit of a silly picture-of-the-day. It was taken at the National Honors Society invocation. We saw Mrs. Vickstrom! Her hair was straight. It was nice to talk with her but weird that we were having an adult conversation. One of my favorite moments from second grade was when I realized I had reached the goal on the independent reading chart (which was twenty books). I said to her "Mrs. Vickstrom, I think I read twenty books" even though I knew I did. And she said "You THINK so?" And she looked at the chart and then gave me a blue paper ribbon that said "Blue Ribbon Reader" on it. After we talked to her Kathryn was flustered and fell into a trash can kind of. Today was the bright to yesterday's dreary. The most exciting thing that happened to me is that Mr. Monahan saw my Velvet Underground t-shirt and got excited because apparently he loves them and he started up a conversation with me about them and somewhere into the conversation I lost him because he was talking really fast and in French so I ended up telling him my dad is a painter without meaning to (my dad isn't a painter). But after that he played a music video of Nico singing "Femme Fatale"! It was pretty cool. That's the song of the day, by the way.

It's taking a really long time to load this photo. If it doesn't load, I'm just going to publish the post like this. That's right, without a photo. I may or may not be obligated to turn in a French essay about Superman tomorrow. Actually, it can be about Batman either. You can choose which one. I'm not really sure which one I think is a better superhero. I've always been inclined towards Superman, but this is most likely because I used to be in love with Tom Welling who played Clark Kent on Smallville. Why won't my picture load?

January 11

This is kind of lame, I know. But I really didn't have many opportunities to be creative today. Right now my mom is mad at me because I chose my FRQ on Spanish vs. Russian empire over shoveling the driveway. She is so mad in fact, that she has decided to drive Emily to school tomorrow but not I. It is probably the harshest punishment she can think of. Right now she and Emily are upstairs watching 24. Tony is back on the show, even though he "died" two seasons ago. Isn't that a little soap-opera-y? I watched that show religiously for one season and then lost all interest. Now I don't watch any TV shows regularly. I do however, have to finish this FRQ. Preferably soon. 

Today I stayed at Liz's until four. We watched Half Nelson which was good but really sad. The soundtrack Broken Social Scene. Then Liz drove me home and we talked about how we felt like we were in a movie. Because small towns under thick snow and ice are very aesthetic (not ascetic!). The song of the day is "Gemini (Birthday Song)" by Why?. It reminds me of certain people. I hope tomorrow is less cloudy.

January 10

Today was Liz's birthday and this is a picture of the candles she blew out. As you can see, each candle is being held by a separate hand. This is because we made the cake in the microwave and it is so hot that if you put candles in it, they instantly melt and then you have pools of colorful wax skimming the top of the cake before you even finish singing "Happy Birthday." I know this because of experience. Also we had another blizzard today. I think this may be the worst winter I have ever lived through. Or it might be the best. I don't know the difference. I took the ACTs today at the school with three other people. The reason for the lack of a bigger crowd is that it makes no sense to take the ACTs in January. Even less sense than taking the SATs in January. Megan Campbell was one of the three, and she was really mad about having to take the test, and her anger was very funny. I think I got every single question on the English portion right, but the math and science were kind of hard (Science is of what the world needs more!).

The song of the day is Ocean Rain by Echo and the Bunnymen because I watched Donnie Darko and then had the urge to listen to the Echo and the Bunnymen album Andrew gave me. I don't even think Ocean Rain is in Donnie Darko, but lots of other E and the B songs are. Maybe they put those songs in because of Frank the demonic Bunny. Scary.

January 9

Today was a great day. The picture of the day is appropriate because I drew a Christmas Tree on that Etch A Sketch even though Christmas is long over, and tonight we had our Christmas concert and everyone sang Christmas songs and such even though Christmas is long over. These are the reasons why the day is great: It's the day before Liz's birthday and at lunch, there were two people playing harmonica and singing and walking around the cafeteria. The girl's name was Tori and I don't know the boy's name (I am glad I don't know this; I am sick of knowing everyone's name all the time). I asked them to play a birthday song for Liz and after they were done I started clapping and cheering really loud. And then my table started in on the clapping and then it spread to the surrounding tables and eventually the whole cafeteria was yelling and applauding and the majority of them didn't know why. It was real swell. 

Another reason why the day was great is that it looked beautiful outside. I walked part of the way home and I enjoyed looking at all the crystalized trees so much that I didn't even feel frustrated that I didn't have my camera. I usually feel this, and it detracts from enjoying the moment. Tonight at the concert, Erin Ollis sang a solo and I cried. I don't know why I cried. I just felt such a powerful swoop of emotion and then the tears just popped out. Nobody else cried. 

The song of the day is "Go Tell It on the Mountain." Because it made me have something worthwhile to write about in my blog.

Happy Birthday Liz in fifteen minutes!

January 8

We can't have all we want, because suffering makes us callous and hardened and smart. Thank God for the sad parts.

Song of the day is "In an Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel.

January 7

I took this after I was shoveling the ice/ snow off the driveway and I noticed the house looked really cool against the dusky sky and all the frozen trees. Of course it looked way better in real life, but that's always the case with pictures. That green room is my room. I'm a vision! Today we had a snow day because an ice storm (a baby this time) hit us. But unlike during the last storm, I didn't lay awake all night in a blind panic while trees crashed into the house. My mom always inserts the word "corn" into words it doesn't belong. For example:

    "cornfused"

    "cornmmercials"

    "cornductor"

The reason I said that is because she just said one of them. Today I drove to orchestra in weird weather. First my mom and I spent an hour shoveling the driveway so I could get out, and then every glass surface in the car was so foggy that I had to keep rolling down the windows to see. And this became a problem once it started sleeting. I drove on the highway and listened to Regina Spektor really loud. The sleet was becoming a wall of water and I made the windshield wipers wipe as fast as they could go, and I was gripping the steering wheel with both hands and crouching forward all weird just because I was so nervous that I would run into another car I couldn't see or slip on ice and lose control. And all the while the song was really loud and the windshield wipers were beating like bass drums. But everything was fine and when I got off the highway and stopped at a red light, the Regina Spektor song ended. So "Us" by Regina Spektor is the song of the day because it was the soundtrack to my highway ride in the crazy, blinding rain. 

Today my mom made zucchini spice muffins.

January 6

I can't wait until spring because then I can take photos outside. Usually by the time I am ready to take a picture it is too dark to go out and I have to find something of interest inside. I came upstairs to find this chair in the middle of the floor and crooked just like it is in this picture, and I thought the lighting was  really cool. Unfortunately, my finger crept into the frame (I'm sure if you haven't noticed this before it's all you can think about now) but I still think it's an okay enough shot to be picture of the day. I just watched There Will Be Blood. Everyone should watch that movie.

Today I went to the dollar store to get an application and the lady at the counter said they wouldn't be hiring until spring because it was still slow. She wasn't a very nice lady. I think I'm still going to apply anyways just in case. The lady had auburn-reddish hair but her eyebrows were grey and very thin. She was cleaning the conveyor belt with windex when I came in. Part of the reason I want to work at the dollar store is that I'll get to do jobs like cleaning a conveyor belt with Windex. Wait, is it conveyor or conveyer? There is supposedly another ice storm tonight and if it is any degree of the last one we are in trouble. The song of the day is Oliver James by Fleet Foxes. 

Oh I almost forgot to mention, my sister got gum surgery today. She said it wasn't bad and she couldn't feel it but it hurt a lot once it was over and they were bleeding dully for the rest of the day. When I got home she and Chad were in the basement watching Catch Me if You Can, and I went in to sit with them and every once in a while Emily would say, "Don't look" and then spit a little blood into a tissue.

January 5

The picture of the day today is contrived because I had nothing to take a picture of that was interesting and not contrived. I was going to bring my camera to the gymnastics meet and I probably could have gotten a good shot there, but then Liz didn't want to go anymore because she is on Vicodin (sp?) and she feels very run down. I felt really relieved about college for a little while today but shortly after I felt panicky. I can't wait until this ugly process is over. Actually, it will pretty much all be over in a week or so. Just some odds and ends after that. 

School was good today and it was nice to be doing something. Ms. Jensen talked for most of the period about her experiences in the power outage, which included sharing a sleeping bag with her two dogs. I bet everyone was thinking about how sad it is that the only other beings Ms. Jensen will ever share a sleeping bag with aren't humans. I made Lanny some CDs so he would make me some and the only blank CDs we had were black. And I thought this was really funny and I laughed while I was writing illegibly on them, because, why would you make/ buy black CDs? The song of the day today is "I Never" by Rilo Kiley because I listened to the album it's on while I was eating breakfast this morning and then it was in my head. I like listening to music in the morning. Sometimes when I'm listening to Rilo Kiley I imagine that I'm singing onstage and my voice is Jenny Lewis' voice. Because she has such a beautiful, enviable voice. Today my mom made blueberry muffins and they are her best yet.

January 4

Weekends are boring. The song of the day is "Ashes of American Flags" by Wilco. I really like Wilco, but I only am really conscious of this when I am listening to them. This song is often interpreted as having an anarchist-vibe to it, because Jeff Tweedy sings "I would like to salute the ashes of American flags" and it sounds like he hates America. But really he just is saluting the gesture of burning an American flag, because you have to be really balls-y (for lack of a better word) to do it. And the song is really about the emptiness of life, and waiting for something big and exciting to happen to you, but not wanting to go out and create that excitement yourself. Kind of like my life. I'm really excited for school tomorrow. I'm sick of having no purpose every day. 

I almost forgot to talk about the picture. Good thing the Wilco song isn't really about anarchy, because it wouldn't go with this picture. Sometimes it hits me that we have a black family in the White House, and it always makes me feel really proud, as if I myself were black. I think by the time they leave office, race relations will be different around here. My mom is making muffins right now.

January 3

This picture got me in a LOT of trouble. Maybe it foreshadows that taking a picture a day for a year is going to be a bigger burden than I thought it was going to be. Then again, I knew this was going to be a burden and I still subconsciously know that I am not dedicated enough for it. Anyways, the reason this picture got me in trouble was because I took it in the bead store and the lady who worked behind the counter got really mad and offended (I secretly think the real reason she was mad at us was because we walked in without saying hi). But before she showed that she was mad and offended she was like hiiii? while I took the picture and I told her it was just the picture of the day. And I was trying to think of why it would be a really offending gesture and all I could come up with was that she thought I wanted to sell the picture that was of her beads so I told her I promised I wouldn't sell it. And she did that sarcastic OKAAYYYYY thing and then she bitched-out my mom for bringing in beads from another place and she added that it was rude that "your daughters" just waltzed in here and "started taking pictures of everything." Jeez Lady, it's the picture of the day. And it's not even that good of a picture so it was definitely not worth it. Because my mom loves going to that bead store but now she can't ever go anymore because she doesn't tolerate people who are rude to her. She and the lady had a "confrontation" but Emily and I waited outside because we felt awkward, and then my mom came out of the door saying "I don't think so." She was saying it in a sweetly condescending way: more sweet than condescending but condescending all the same. I think there is a good tone word for what I am describing here. 

I only have one more day of vacation left! I can't believe I haven't been to school in twenty four days. I have a feeling it's going to be very hard to adjust back. I feel bad about the song of the day today because it's "Song for the Dumped" by Ben Folds Five, which is two tracks after the song of the day yesterday on Whatever and Ever Amen. At least it's not the same song. I think I'm going to implicate the rule that the song of the day can't be the same song two days in a row. The second day will just have to have no song, and that's okay, because sometimes you just have so many things in your head that there's no room for a song.

January 2

Lanny, Michela, and Tori came over my house and I guess the original plan was to watch a movie, but we didn't watch a movie and didn't really do anything except for look at my photo library and play with a plastic wheel toy that Lanny bought for a dollar. Anyways it was still fun, and this is a picture of the dessert that Tori brought. In case you can't tell what it is, it's vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, one brownie and one banana. Today I finished Cat's Cradle for the second time and I bought "Whatever and Ever Amen" by Ben Folds Five. Because of this, the song of the day is "Fair" by Ben Folds Five.

January 1

This is a wheelbarrow behind my house that I have never noticed or used. Today is the first day of 2009, and all my resolutions are lies. The song of the day is The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie for obvious reasons. Also, I don't know if I like the title to this blog, or the format.