August 9

I keep thinking that sleep will help clear my mind and order my thoughts but it never does. Or maybe it's that I never seem to find quite enough sleep. Things are starting to go faster than I'd like them to. For example, Liz leaves for college in two weeks. When did this happen? When did it become so there are two weeks left of her summer? I'm not ready at all and I don't know when I will be. What if I'm never ready and I have to leave for college anyways? I'm so tired. This summer was the best of my life, but I really am so tired. And my brain is mush and I don't know what making me happy or sad or both and I'm going to go to sleep but then wake up too early, for work, and pretend to be happier than I am all day.

It's all of the good that won't come out of me
And how eventually my mouth will just turn to dust
If I don't tell you quick
Standing here on this frozen lake

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