August 11

I love weather. Today I did a lot of pointless endeavors. I went to get my third Gardisil shot only to learn that it was actually two weeks too early, and then I went to the Verizon store, hated every phone available to replace my sick and dying one, and left. The song of the day is "So Everyone" by Bonnie "Prince" Billy.

At home I napped on the living room couch for three hours. I had bizarre and vivid dreams. In the most predominant one, I was holding a large gathering in my driveway in the middle of an intense rainstorm. I decided to drive my car down the driveway and into the carport, with Zach Kent in the passenger seat. As I drove the length of the driveway, I lost control of the car and it lumbered off the pavement and onto the dirt and brush on the left side. Moving slowly like a grazing animal, the car completed a series of revolutions, sliding on the watery earth. But we weren't worried. We casually went through the motions of using the emergency break and shifting gears, both aware that the car would continue to move through air and earth and water and would eventually drive off the steep drop at the end of my driveway. And we both knew that ultimately, we would be okay. When we finally approached the drop, we proposed to each other the idea of jumping out. As wheels touched the ground for the last time and the massive mechanic animal tipped over the edge of the earth, Zach and I fell out of its doors and tumbled gracefully and slowly into the ethereal and waterlogged forest, luminous under the sunlight. The painful impact we could have encountered never came and we had no fear of being hurt or even of dying. Immediately before I woke up, I left my arms and legs and hands below me, on the ground, as I thrust towards heaven my chest and heart, opened my mouth and eyes, and drank in the sunlight that bursted through the bright wet evergreens.

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