June 4

Why does razor rash hurt so bad? Why do Parker and Bryan look so similar? I've blogged progressively later every night this week. Tonight was the Baccalaureate and I went and said my speech. It was fun. When I stood onstage I wasn't nervous. My heart was racing, but it didn't feel bad so I knew I was excited and not afraid. I was surprised when people laughed at some parts in my speech. I didn't expect it to be funny. Afterwards everyone complimented me. I feel bad about this, but I really like this kind of experience. Is it vanity? Should I like being in the limelight less? I want to be a writer. Oh I need to stop saying that out loud. I want to write down all the nice things people said so I won't forget them, but I know that here is not the appropriate place, so maybe I'll include them in my forgotten journal. 

The only time I got choked up all night was from something touching that Matt Ritter said to me. Matt Ritter has never made me cry before and he never will again, ever. Graduation feels like a big holiday. The song of the day is "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear.

When I started this blog, one of my principle objectives was to document important events in my life, because I knew this year would be host to a couple of them. I guess high school graduation is a pretty big deal, isn't it. The first high school graduation I went to was in freshman year, with wind ensemble. I remember deciding that when I graduated I would straighten my hair so it would look good with the cap. So that means I've been planning my graduation details for four years, and I was planning even before that. It's weird to me that this event is a couple hours out of a nondescript Saturday, but accompanying it is years of expectations and possibly years of memories. I don't know about the memories part yet, I'm not there.

When saying goodbye to people for the last time, I do this thing where I assure them that our paths will cross again. Or I say "our journey isn't finished yet." I say it with such conviction that I succeed in making the goodbye sufficiently less complicated. I don't know if I can keep doing it though; somebody might catch on that I don't actually know if it's true.