February 13

I didn't expect this to be the picture of the day when I took it. In fact, it was sort of taken by accident. But my memory card has taken up the wonderful habit of labeling certain photos "corrupt" and thus making them unreadable to a computer, so I didn't have much to work with. Not that I don't like this photo. I just would have rather had the one of Liz's hand writing on a Bratz valentine. Also I took a picture of a paper heart that said my name on it taped to my locker, but it was not a good photograph. It was gray and uninteresting. 

Today was Valentine's Day, for all intents and purposes. I used to say "for all intensive purposes." A man came to our school to give us his lecture on a girl who died at Columbine. It was a beautiful talk, I thought. I wonder if it made any impact on people. I'm not really thinking about it now, but I had this overwhelming feeling of emotion while I was listening to him talk and I couldn't pinpoint exactly why I was crying at the time, but I think I know why now. I could just feel everyone else being so focused and intent and all thinking about the same thing and all being sad for Rachel Scott. It was really intense. And it is hard for me to remember that feeling now, when I am alone. But I trust that it existed. Be nicer.

The song of the day is "You Really Got a Hold on Me" by She&Him. It's a love song! And I'm not afraid to sing it and all the other songs on that album because Zooey Deschanel's voice is kind of plain and unintimidating. I wish I was a singer! 

February 12

Today it rained and was very windy and the rain was freezing cold. I drove around Worcester looking for children's Valentines and didn't find them until I went back to the CVS in Holden. I bought Disney Pixar ones even though the only movie I liked out the whole set was Wall-E. But I had to buy them because the Ratatouille one said "Bonjour Valentine" and it was funny. I love insignificant secular holidays. When I was in Target I almost bought a four dollar framed picture of a stegosaurus that said "STEGO," but then I decided I didn't want to dispense four dollars on it. I can't decide if I regret that decision or not. The song of the day is "The District Sleeps Alone" by the Postal Service because it complimented so well the weird dark clouds and the quickly-over rain showers. It reminds me of this time in sophomore year, which was a bad time. I just painted my nails with a pink that I've had since I was a very small child. I think it's time to retire this shade because it made my nails streaky and they smell like play-do which is not the typical scent of nail polish. Tomorrow's going to be so fun! Expect a love-themed picture of the day. 

February 11

Today it was really hard to choose the picture of the day because I thought I took a bunch of good ones. I took this while driving the car and blindly holding the camera through the window. It was highly amateur. I wanted to take pictures outside because it was so nice out but I didn't want to walk because I didn't have much time so instead I drove around town sporadically and dangerously, often times looking through the viewfinder and veering off the road. I was honked at twice. It was really embarrassing but fun. Also it was SO WARM TODAY. But it was sad because I know it's just fake-April and spring is really not even close at all. This is just not what snow is supposed to look like. To me, winter is only romantic for a month or so. Then it gets dirty. February is a dirty month and it's on the very top of my most-hated month list, surpassed only by January. Today when I drove home from orchestra I put the windows down and I listened to the Strokes, and the first song on the album was so good and it just gave me that feeling that good songs often do that I love everything. I loved orchestra. And driving. And American Idol. Which are all things that I actually do love, but more so when I am listening to "The Modern Age" (also song of the day). Now I have to go read a bunch of Beloved. I love Beloved. But it is creeping me out a lot. Also my right hand is super cold right now.

I almost forgot to talk about the subject of this picture. It's the ugly mess on the end of my street. It used to be so beautiful in this spot, and now they're building a Walgreens and it is disillusioning and depressing and a replacement of the little aesthetic charm my town has left with a heartless, fluorescent block of synthetic walls and floors. I like this picture though.

February 10

I am so tired today that I have several times contemplated going to bed, and it isn't even ten yet. My sister wants me to do her French homework and she called me selfish because I wouldn't. Guess what, my room isn't clean. The song of the day is "Ooh La La" by the Faces. Sometimes I almost forget about picture of the day. I think it's going to be hard to blog every day in like, four months. When I started this blog I didn't think about it as a commitment from which I wouldn't get a day off for a whole year. It's pretty hard for us to empathize, even with ourselves. So I couldn't really imagine how I'd feel about it months in the future. But don't worry, I promised to do this every day for a year. I have to get a really good picture soon though. I've been kind of lazy lately.

Today I heard this super good song in Staples in which the lead singer had some accent that made him pronounce "miles" strangely. I just realized I still haven't seen Rushmore. I bet I would really like it. My computer currently has 19 MB of free space. This is very dangerous. The picture of the day is a makeup mirror in the dark.

February 9

The song of the day today is "I'm Always in Love" by Wilco. It's love song week! Even though yesterday's was far from a love song. I love Valentine's Day. I love any school day that is abnormal. Today I babysat for the Macks because Emily couldn't. This is Olivia, and you can't see it but she is standing over the fort I made for her and Eli. It was a very well-made fort, but the ceiling was probably a foot and a half over the ground so they just laid down on their backs inside it and giggled and then at some point it came down on top of them and it was the most hilarious thing that's ever happened to anyone, ever. I am trying to finish cleaning/ re-doing my room for tomorrow, because that's when I projected its culmination; it's not going to happen. Oh yeah today I had my first gym class since last spring. I found a fault in myself I want to change. I think I talk too loud, too fast, and too much. When I get excited I can't stop. Did I mention I like to write?

Today I learned that pterodactyl is not spelled terodactyl. I feel really bad about this. I've been spelling it without the p all my life! 

February 8

Today my mom made weird muffins that have apricot jelly in the middle. They are so good! Lanny and I went to keep Michela company while she was babysitting. We went for a walk with her and the baby and had a rendez-vous with a crazy dog who charged us multiple times. We had to shield the baby, but she was laughing. I'm wearing new socks today! They are purple. I read this kid's book called "Love that Dog" about a boy who is learning to write poetry and he writes about his dog named Sky who was hit by a car. It doesn't feel natural to have this little work to do. By the way, Neil Diamond is on the Grammy's right now and my mom just said, "Why isn't he dead yet??" The song of the day is "15 Step" by Radiohead. There is no song of the day yesterday. Unless you really want one. 

Yesterday was pretty bad, but it wasn't devoid of fun moments, so I'm glad I decided against fast-forwarding the whole day. The picture from yesterday is Liz leaning up against a wall while we waited in the parking lot for Jen before going to Cafe Dolce. It was so warm out. It's so warm out today too. My parents want to buy me a new bed. I think it's pretty bad timing.

February 7

February 6

My cat is purring like a machine right now. And she keeps picking at my chair. The best part of my day today was going to Shabbat services. Don't worry, I'm not gonna get all religious on you now, but I really like being Jewish sometimes. What I don't like is having to repeat my list of colleges five times in two minutes, and then some. I can't wait till recounting the names of nine universities for the listener to subsequently judge me and my societal worth is no longer an appropriate act of conversation. I guess I'll only have to wait two months. I saw "He's Just Not That into You" with Liz and I enjoyed it so much. I'm not kidding, it was great! My mom almost made muffins today but I guess she got distracted because there are no muffins. The song of the day is "This Modern Love" by Bloc Party because Valentine's Day is coming up. Speaking of, I made a playlist of love songs!

I am really not looking forward to tomorrow. I wish I could fast forward to Sunday. And if by any chance I do have any fun tomorrow, well then I would be allowed to rewind back to the fun part. Stella is sitting six feet away from me but I wouldn't be able to tell if I hadn't looked because her purr is that loud.

February 5

Today when I woke up I felt like some phantom pressure of substantial force was being applied to my eyeballs. Also I had a fever so I stayed home and slept. Then my mom and I drove to pick up the car which was at the shop and then we went to the mall, and to my utter shock and disgust, I found a shirt in American Eagle that said "Love the one your with." 

ARE YOU SERIOUS AMERICAN EAGLE? ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO MASS PRODUCE A PIECE OF CLOTHING THAT SO BLATANTLY SPOTLIGHTS SUCH AN IMMATURE AND OFFENSIVE GRAMMATICAL ERROR? DOES ANYBODY WHO WORKS FOR YOUR MASSIVE EMPIRE OF A CORPORATION READ?? 

Things like this make me feel indignant, but in a good way: kind of a warm and comforting indignance. I can't describe it any better than that. My sister ordered this leotard to wear on the rare days of dance class when she isn't required to wear purple, but allowed to go crazy and choose any color. 

When we were in the mall, we talked about "has-been"s, which I think is one of the saddest ideas. My mom said, "Everyone eventually becomes a has-been. The best thing to do is just to accept it with grace and not fight it." Sad! And then I thought about all the things I could do in my middle age to avoid being a has-been, but trying to avoid what is supposed to be inevitable is somehow even sadder. Right now I know my cold is going away because I keep feeling like I'm going to sneeze but it never comes. At least I'm getting better. It's a goddamn annoying feeling though.

February 4

I'm sick and I slept for almost five hours in the middle of the day. This is a habenero and it is super hot so don't eat it! My mom told me to wash my hands afterwards and not touch my eye but then I did touch my eye and it burned and it still burns a little. The song of the day is "I'm so Free" by Lou Reed.

February 3

I have an amazing headache right now. Today I had my last two midterms and they were both really easy and didn't make my stomach hurt at all. Then I went to Jumpin' Juice n' Java with Liz, Abi, and Abby and I've never been there before but I want to go back. I ordered a wrap and some cranberry-raspberry soda that I JUST finished five minutes ago. Steve would have been aggravated. This is Emily when she was plucking her eyebrows, which is an action she thought would make for an unflattering picture, but turns out it's not, and who is surprised by that? The song of the day is "Acid Tongue" by Jenny Lewis. I love her. I have this weird and bothersome cough. I think my immune system is a little weak and decrepit right now, but I'm not as bad as Emily. 

I decided to clean my room very thoroughly, but I can't do it all at once, so I have divided the cleaning into nightly installments and I should be done by next Tuesday. The hardest day is going to be this Friday because it's the day where I will fold all the clean clothes that reside under my bed, on my closet floor, and in, around, and under my pink U-shaped chair. I hate folding clothes, especially when there is no room to put them anywhere once they're folded. Now I have to give Stella her insulin, then put on some chap-stick, then go to bed.

February 2

Not a molecule. I don't even remember what that is referring to. I have no idea how well I'm going to fare on my anatomy midterm tomorrow. Today Liz stayed at my house from 10 am to 8 pm. We painted our nails and I painted mine red even though I just painted them green. And we had to keep the door shut to my room because Emily was sleeping so the nail polish smell just contaminated the room and we inhaled it while we studied for anatomy and wrote secret lists. The song of the day is "Purple Bottle" by Animal Collective because it is a real cutie. Tomorrow after I take my two midterms, first semester of senior year will be over! How exciting! I know it's not going to be easier, but it's still cathartic. CAThartic. Meow.

February 1

Wow. It feels strange to type "February" the title box. Anyways, welcome to the shortest month of the year: also, one month closer to June. Today was a really good day. The picture kind of explains it. The song of the day is "More Adventurous" by Rilo Kiley because I need to embrace this motto and get rid of my things-that-would-be-fun-if-I-wasn't-too-scared-to-do-them list. Today somebody took my money and I want it back, you bitch! Emily is still sick. I bought her a pair of slipper socks from Urban Outfitters and I told her stories and I hope she is better tomorrow. 

My throat hurts, but it is just from excitement.